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Apr 24

Stupid way to injure yourself, #112

  1. paint your nails occasionally
  2. sometime, when you think of it, forget to tighten lid on a bottle of nailpolish
  3. set said nailpolish bottle on your bedside table
  4. knock it over
  5. discover it several days later
  6. bemoan the slow leak which has become a puddle, affixing your bottle to the tabletop
  7. pry the sucker off, using a screwdriver
  8. bemoan the fact that you took some of the nightstand varnish with the bottle
  9. use the nailpolish to refinish the bit of the nightstand you just de-varnished (well, it’s not like it was a *nice* nightstand)
  10. return nailpolish to its rightful home (the spiceracks on the closet wall where all the nailpolishes live…clever, eh?)
  11. forget
  12. for a long time
  13. decide, on the spur of the moment, that you need to paint your nails (heck, you’re going out to see Xanadu…now that’s a nailpolish-worthy occasion)
  14. try three bottles of nailpolish whose caps are thoroughly stuck on (it has been a while since you’ve painted your nails, hasn’t it?)
  15. think about using your teeth to open one of the stuck ones
  16. think about the three crowns you already have and decide that’s a bad idea (for once!)
  17. find a bottle of nailpolish whose cap seems to be willing to turn, if somewhat reluctantly
  18. rejoice
  19. grab the bottle in one hand and the cap in the other and tttwwwwwwiiiiiiiissssssttttt
  20. OW!!!
  21. look down at thumb
  22. notice the blood
  23. realize that there’s a knife-like shard of dried nailpolish stuck to the side of the bottle that you just dragged your thumb across
  24. wonder why there’s this flat, sharp nailpolish blob on the bottle

25. remember the nightstand
26. find the liquid bandage
27. sigh

Permanent link to this article: http://ginalikins.com/2005/04/24/stupid-way-to-injure-yourself-112/

13 comments

  1. lilbluebus

    Great idea with the spice rack. I might just have to try that. I think this entry is a perfect excuse for you to go buy some new nail polish. :)

    1. gina

      Beware! Nailpolish is *dangerous*!!! ;-)

      I found the spice racks cheap at World Market and they work great!

  2. humblepie

    pwahahahaha! (excuse my sense of humor)

    I didn’t know you were the walking wounded for Xanadu!
    (well, aside from the obvious you know)
    But it was lovely to see you also.

    We should do stuff…..

    1. gina

      We should. What are your weeekday evenings like? Wanna come over and watch a chick flick, drink some wine and knit?

      1. humblepie

        I would enjoy that very much! Weekday evenings are open for the most part.

        1. gina

          Just out of curiousity, would tomorrow night (Wed.) work? I’m free…(and have wine, a partially completed sweater and a biggum TV)…

          1. humblepie

            Wednesday would be great. (I have wine also and a partially completed buttonhole bag..)
            email me a time and directions to
            kah at nc dot rr dot com

  3. jason0x21

    You realize this is why we love you, right?

    1. gina

      Because of my propensity to injure myself in stupid ways?

      Oh well, at least I’ll never lack for affection, then…

  4. bdot

    lol.. sunday night humor before bed…. good dream should follow

    1. gina

      Hopefully you’ll sleep the night through!

      1. bdot

        i almost did…. i got up once, but then fell asleep again fairly quickly…which is an improvement!

  5. emike2k3

    And I thought I had an interesting way of attracting the weirdest accidents!

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